I heard it said that the average 18-year-old male thinks about sex every 3 minutes during waking hours. It’s no wonder they’re so wildly inefficient human beings at this age. Of course, as we age and get careers, pay rent and have kids, we tend to get less frisky. Blame locker room talk, Hollywood, or Internet porn, but men still believe their sex drive should not change with age. There comes a point at which watching the History Channel sometimes sounds better than sex. But there’s another truth about libido: everyone has a rhythm or habit with regard to how often they either think about sex or actually have sex.
Why the Low Libido?
A normal sex drive can be disturbed by an awful lot of things, most of which deal with the issue of health. For example, how often do you want to have sex when you’re flat on your back with the flu? Do you really think about sex with a bad migraine headache or a kidney stone? Whatever tips a body off of its healthy balance has the potential to kill libido. Likewise, chronic illnesses (depression, low testosterone, cancer), many medications, and even social drugs can influence sex drive. But the single biggest thing that trashes the libido is our lifestyle. Stress kills, in more ways than one.
Toward A Healthier Sex Drive
Here are the lifestyle issues that are the keys to great sexual health.
- Catch some zzz’s. Getting 7 or more hours of sleep nightly relaxes and restores the body. Even more importantly, it turns off the amygdala, that portion of your brain that handles fear and worry. And that leaves room for equally primitive but more enjoyable desires to fill your mind.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Piles of acute stress over things like missing a meeting or being caught in snarling traffic is not great for your sex drive. Relax. It’s all small stuff.
- Even low-level constant stress such as that caused by addiction to emails is something our nervous systems were not built to handle. It triggers a low-grade “fight or flight “response which you can’t control and which is terrible for sex drive. Turn things off.
- Try not sitting. Exercise, yoga, massage or acupuncture are great ways to get all kinds of stress out.
- Eat well and maintain a healthy weight. I know I’m harping here, but your body is your single best investment. End of story.
- Attend to pain. Both pain and its treatment, especially opiates, are terrible for your sex drive. Use non-narcotics, pillows and position to make things as comfortable as possible.
- Listen. To Music. Nothing is better for life, love and sex than melody, rhythm and movement. Just as the background makes the painting, the music makes the maestro.
- Although not scientifically quantifiable, oysters contain zinc, a lack of which in a man’s diet can cause impotence. Zinc is also a necessary building block for testosterone, so it supports a healthy libido and sperm production. Moreover, oysters may make you think about sex.
Your ability to control your sex drive is something that you may have never thought possible. In reality, it’s very much in your hands. Or better stated, it’s between your ears, in your heart and between your legs.
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