Masturbation FAQ – Dr. Zhana

FAQ masturbation

Is there a recommended number of masturbation sessions per week for men and women?

This is one of the most common questions I ever get about masturbation and the answer is absolutely not! We’re all different in our sexual needs and desires, and there is no one right amount. You should masturbate as little or as much as you feel like you want to masturbate.

Can guys masturbate too much?

While there is no one recommended amount of masturbation for any gender, people of all genders can masturbate either too much or in ways that are not beneficial to them. What qualifies as too much or unhealthy is not super clear cut. Some warning signs can include masturbating several hours a day every day for an extended period of time, neglecting social or professional responsibilities or other things that you want to be doing in life, and feeling like your behavior is out of control and causing you stress and guilt rather than pleasure. If this is the case, you might want to ask yourself why you feel the need to masturbate so often at the expense of all the other things you could be doing in life, and perhaps seek professional guidance. Just make sure it’s with a sex-positive therapist, rather than one that is quick to diagnose people with sex addiction.

Is it normal that my wife isn’t into touching herself?

That’s actually quite common. A 2010 study surveying a nationally representative sample of American women recently found that 30-40% of women aged 18-49 have not masturbated in the past year, and 15-30% have never masturbated. (The same was true for 20-25% of men ages 18-49 over the past year, and 5-15% over their lifetime.) Of course, not masturbating could be due to genuine lack of sexual desire or interest in masturbation, but it’s also likely that it’s a product of all the sexual repression, lack of sexual education, guilt, shame that women are made to feel in regards to their own sexual pleasure.

Can using a vibrator make my clit less sensitive to other stimulation?

When you’re continually applying only one specific type of simulation to the genital areas, you are basically training your nerve endings in that area to respond to only that type of stimulation. If that stimulation always comes from a vibrator with this very high speed and intensity, that’s what the genital nerve endings will get accustomed to. This can sometimes be an issue for people who’d like their partners to bring them to orgasm without a vibrator, since no human can replicate the high speed and intensity of vibrations with any of their body parts. That said, there’s no permanent damage of any kind to the nerve endings. They’re just trained to respond only to high intensity, high speed type of vibration. If you lay off the vibrator for a little while and provide different kinds of stimulation to bring yourself to orgasm, or if you switch things up by going back and forth between vibration and other types of stimulation, then you will quickly retain your nerve endings to respond to all different kinds of simulation.

Any sex toy recommendations to specifically for masturbation?

Um, pretty much all of LELO’s toys, except for the ones that are specifically for couples (like the Tiani or the Ida), are amazing masturbation devices. Just pick the kind of stimulation you want: external, internal, dual, suction, prostate… Some of my favorites are Ina Wave, Lily, Sona, Smart Wand, Siri, Loki, and Hugo.

What’s the best way for a female to masturbate to a G-Spot orgasm?

The best way for a G-Spot orgasm through masturbation is by using a toy on yourself. It can be a vibrating or a non-vibrating toy that’s insertable, and is curved a bit so it can hit up against the G-Spot, located on the front wall of the vagina about 2 knuckles in. LELO actually has an entire collection of G-Spot specific vibrators.

Why is it so hard for me to have a clitoral orgasm with a partner? I’ve tried everything. 

Some of us have a very narrow range of the kinds of stimulation that will make us orgasm and if your partner isn’t providing that exact type of stimulation that you provide for yourself while masturbating, then it might hard to orgasm with them. It also could be due to some anxiety you’ve developed over not being able to have an orgasm with a partner. You can try to provide your partner with specific instructions to stimulate you exactly the way you stimulate yourself, and you can also give them a hand while they’re doing it for the first few times, until they can do it by themselves. But sometimes, whether because of them not being able to replicate the kind of stimulation, your anxiety, or a bit of both, it might not happen for a while. In that case, it’s best to accept it and not think of it as a big deal. Since you know how to bring yourself to an orgasm, just keep your hand or vibrator on your clit while you play with your partner; that way you can experience having an orgasm while with your partner.

Check this out: Paying Lip Service: Top 4 Cunnilingus Techniques

How do I, at 19, learn how to not be afraid of my own vagina?? I’m afraid to pleasure myself/don’t know how to do it.

Figuring out how to masturbate, how to pleasure yourself doesn’t necessarily come naturally to many. A lot of people have to learn, though a bit of trial and error, what and how they like it. So set aside some time during which you’re going explore your genitals, and think of it as your own personal “research and development” time. Then take your time looking at your vulva, getting acquainted with all its parts, touching it externally and internally in many different ways, with different implements and toys… Some folks really love only external stimulation of their clitoris, others like internal vaginal stimulation (with or without external clitoral). Some find that their hands are all they need to self-pleasure, while others love to incorporate toys. Some love to include some anal play into the mix, while others don’t. Trying different things is the only way to figure out what you like and you don’t like – there are no right or wrong answers, only what works for you. Give yourself as much time as you need, exploring is FUN!

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